no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
