wake up i wanna do it froggy style
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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