kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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