people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
