You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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