How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
i out mim tonsoeep
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