drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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