wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
