You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
