For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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