Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize