Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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