office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize