Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
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once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
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We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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