the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The struggles of a small town man whore
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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