Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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