Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
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