he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
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Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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