I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
