I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
