Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
