BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I deserve this hangover.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
