Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
