I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize
