pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
