i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
