Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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