Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
