Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
are you still at the devil's house?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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