That's intense
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
