I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize