He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
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Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
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Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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