Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize