He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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