My first STD was from a foam party
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize