Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
