Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
did i walk over a car last night?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
