why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
