Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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