winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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