every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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