I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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