Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize