You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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