You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
pray to the hookup gods
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
