"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
