Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
