whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
