my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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