you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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