so explain again why im purple
no
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
