Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
