coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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