i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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