in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?