My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"