Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.

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  (424): It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection. http://tfl.nu/sw7e
  Replies (2) Good night (804) Bad night (1106)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?

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  (434): did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace? http://tfl.nu/alh3
  Replies (1) Good night (773) Bad night (855)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore

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  (443): Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore http://tfl.nu/frxj
  Replies (9) Good night (2928) Bad night (602)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.

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  (775): before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal. http://tfl.nu/j0la
  Replies (69) Good night (38662) Bad night (2015)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.

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  (321): Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance. http://tfl.nu/ue6b
  Replies (56) Good night (1398) Bad night (2433)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  should I fuck that poor girl

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion

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  (770): should I fuck that poor girl (1-770): no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion http://tfl.nu/i8cj
  Replies (30) Good night (770) Bad night (4833)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.

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  (703): just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress. http://tfl.nu/rj37
  Replies (7) Good night (2199) Bad night (3906)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.

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  (303): That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now. http://tfl.nu/5jdl
  Replies (13) Good night (5876) Bad night (1051)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas

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  (830): Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas http://tfl.nu/3mgi
  Replies (9) Good night (941) Bad night (2874)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers

  (440): View more from Ohio

  its only a rough draft.

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  (513): thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers (440): its only a rough draft. http://tfl.nu/pfud
  Replies (10) Good night (3826) Bad night (796)
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  (707): View more from California

  Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis

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  (707): Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis http://tfl.nu/prx7
  Replies (5) Good night (867) Bad night (2706)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.

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  (416): Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything. http://tfl.nu/up9n
  Replies (58) Good night (878) Bad night (5277)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways

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  (406): You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways http://tfl.nu/cne1
  Replies (6) Good night (644) Bad night (1256)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.

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  (817): Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots. http://tfl.nu/sx8s
  Replies (6) Good night (389) Bad night (1425)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.

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  (570): Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning. http://tfl.nu/uqvk
  Replies (3) Good night (285) Bad night (532)

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