Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
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i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
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Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...