is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
third nipple confirmed
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.