Texts From Last Night

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  (520): View more from Arizona

  i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.

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  (520): i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how. http://tfl.nu/qfuo
  Replies (6) Good night (2672) Bad night (911)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure

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  (775): i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure http://tfl.nu/ggme
  Replies (19) Good night (1444) Bad night (2023)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.

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  (540): I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed. http://tfl.nu/g7od
  Replies (17) Good night (1076) Bad night (3896)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"

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  (636): we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle" http://tfl.nu/m65a
  Replies (17) Good night (7289) Bad night (1022)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.

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  (815): i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision. http://tfl.nu/h6vg
  Replies (17) Good night (8935) Bad night (1076)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him

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  (541): he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him http://tfl.nu/38fg
  Replies (6) Good night (4353) Bad night (1145)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...

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  (603): hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1... http://tfl.nu/ehgf
  Replies (21) Good night (8709) Bad night (1262)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance

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  (207): i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance http://tfl.nu/4kjn
  Replies (3) Good night (3736) Bad night (831)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"

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  (905): Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious" http://tfl.nu/f3vn
  Replies (4) Good night (3054) Bad night (877)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.

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  (218): Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county. http://tfl.nu/h5dk
  Replies (12) Good night (1494) Bad night (785)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore

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  (702): I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore http://tfl.nu/7m2v
  Replies (3) Good night (1152) Bad night (914)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!

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  (719): I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!! http://tfl.nu/z9re
  Replies (4) Good night (799) Bad night (423)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman

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  (404): Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman http://tfl.nu/khf9
  Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (307)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.

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  (502): I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation. http://tfl.nu/96ys
  Replies (3) Good night (326) Bad night (535)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.

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  (403): I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here. http://tfl.nu/pi4e
  Replies (0) Good night (802) Bad night (269)

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