cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
