this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
