as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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