Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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