My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize