Your face is a jimmy john
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize