okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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