the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
