hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
