I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
